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“ Whenever I looked towards the past, I saw some duty neglected, or some failing indulged. Every body seemed injured by me. The kindness, the unceasing kindness of Mrs Jennings, I had repaid with ungrateful contempt. To the Middletons, the Palmers, the Steeles, to every common acquaintance even I had been insolent and unjust; with an heart hardened against their merits, and a temper irritated by their very attention. - To John, to Fanny, - yes, even to them, little as they deserve, I had given less than their due. But you, - you above all, above my mother, had been wronged by me. I, and only I, knew your heart and its sorrows; yet, to what did it influence me? - not to any compassion that could benefit you or myself. - Your example was before me: but to what avail? - Was I more considerate of you and your comfort? Did I imitate your forbearance, or lessen your restraints, by taking any part in those offices of general complaisance or particular gratitude which you had hitherto been left to discharge alone? - No; - not less when I knew you to be unhappy, than when I had believed you at ease, did I turn away from every exertion of duty or friendship; scarcely allowed sorrow to exist but with me, regretting only that heart which had deserted and wronged me, and leaving you for whom I professed an unbounded affection, to be miserable for my sake.
Marianne, Sense and Sensibility; Jane Austen
